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I’ve come to understand that I cannot go on until I present to you my very own fashion tips. Yes, you heard right, fashion tips from ME. Tell that to anyone in my family, and they will be laughing for weeks to come. Why? Because I’m a CLASS A tramp. And proud. But the fact of the matter is, anyone who writes for a site such as this does eventually at some point share the latest shoes that they’ve bought or the shiny hijab pin or even brand of deodorant. So I thought to myself, if they can do it, so can I.

But then I opened my wardrobe.

I’m someone who prefers simplicity in colours and design and therefore everything before my eyes was either white, black or grey. And that’s how I like it.

Not much to write about then for a fashion guide. Well, you have to remember that your typical Muslim/Arab male would normally be thought to be wearing one of these, a thobe:

It may seem limited in style and variety, mainly because it’s just long and white but what I realised when I visited Saudi is that there are actually loads of shops selling a huge variety of these. There are actual brand-name ones and they’re not all the same as some may think. So next time you see a bunch of Arab men all apparently wearing the same thing, then think again before assuming they share a wardrobe.

Anyway, back to me and my new role as fashion guru. I only have one of those white thobes and I couldn’t tell you the difference between it and another even if I tried. But as I looked into the monotone mass of my wardrobe, one thing did stand out. And defying the risk of heckling and questioning of my sexuality, I present to you, my latest purchase:

And before you say anything it’s described as ‘bright mango’. That’s BRIGHT MANGO before any of you come out with another word.

I don’t normally buy clothing unless I absolutely have to but I couldn’t resist this and so made the purchase online (I wouldn’t venture into a shopping centre if I could help it). The arms are short, as is the style of the shirt; perfect for showing off the hours spent at the gym. Unfortunately for me, my arms are skinny.